Meg Martinez: Why I Joined Gays Against Groomers
When Michael, our Editor In Chief, asked us to write a letter explaining why we wanted to be a part of Gays Against Groomers, it took me longer than I expected. Bear with me on how I ended up running the Long Beach Chapter with my wife, Jen.
“OMG! Babe! Look at what I just saw on Twitter!” My wife ran into the living room from outside, excited to show me a tweet from TheGayWhoStrayed. I don’t remember the exact words that Jaimee tweeted, but the ones that stood out were “Gays Against Groomers.”
We both had been following Jaimee for a while. Jen has always been the one who found the people, made the connections, and I was the “tag along." I wasn't a twitter fan. I had made an account a few years back but never went on. Jen, on the other hand, was better at keeping up with social media.
After I saw those 3 words, “Gays Against Groomers,” a flood of emotions ran through my head. Then I looked up and saw Jen's eyes. It was a sense of relief that she finally found someone who felt how she did other than me. I felt like, finally we're not alone.
Little did I know, a Twitter chat I was in was where I'd meet my, now, unofficially adopted gay son, Michael (our editor). It was about 3 weeks after we saw Jaimee’s post that Michael asked us to join another chat for Gays Against Groomers. That's when it happened again. The flood of emotions in my head that I still couldn’t quite place what exactly they were. All I really knew was that I had to join the chat. This time, I had Jen tag along.
What I had seen was GAG was about saving kids from being indoctrinated into medically transitioning and keeping pedos out of our LGB&T community. I didn't know that it ran so much deeper for me.
When I came out to my mom as lesbian she told me she knew since I was 3 and here's why. I was an only child and loved spending time with my dad. He would be in the garage, working on something and would teach me how to use tools and build. I was born a tomboy. I spent my free time climbing trees, playing in the mud, hated shoes, and building forts with scrap wood and rusty nails. On the other hand, I still enjoyed some girly things, like playing barbies. Although my barbies were married and Ken lived in the shoe box "garage." Dichotomy is probably the best term to describe me both then and now. You should see me change a flat tire on the side of the 405 fwy, in LA, during rush hour, while wearing red lipstick and heels.
I have always had an analogy for my life. It's like an onion. The more layers you peel back… the more you cry. I have been a sexual assault victim by multiple people, men and women, most of my life. After the sexual assaults started when I was 5, I became withdrawn. To this day, my mom swears she didn’t notice at first, but I remember it. I then lost wanting to be seen as a girl. I took on the more boy-ish things, clothes, toys, hobbies, to be more like my dad. This continued into my early teens to the point I really wanted to opt out of womanhood. That didn't change until I was 20.
Reflecting on my life shortly after joining GAG, it hit me: If I would've grown up nowadays, I would have been trans'd. I cried by myself for a while after realizing. Then thinking about all the little girls like me who’d just grow up to be lesbians, GONE. It devastated me. But that was just the first realization I had of those emotions I couldn't place.
When time came to speak at my first school board meeting (LAUSD) and deep diving into what the schools are normalizing, it sent me for a whole other slew of emotions that I wasn't prepared for. I kept reading the types of sexual education that kids are being taught as early as kindergarten. The books they're given to read, the discussions, pronoun nonsense, and it broke me. That was when I realized exactly why I joined Gays Against Groomers. It's to save kids from suffering the childhood I had, stop the predators, fight to “let the kids be kids," and to preserve their innocence – the kind of innocence I wish I could’ve had.
If anyone reading this has seen any of my speeches online, just know the experiences I share about my past are heard to listen to but important to understand. It’s not a story. It’s not fiction. It’s my life. The lifelong effects of being indoctrinated as a child into sexual normalcy causes damage that can never be undone. It’s what happens when you let a child be groomed into thinking that being sexual when you're young is okay, encourage you or to let others explore your body, that biology is fake, or to trust other adults before your parents. All before you can even comprehend what any of it means.
Now, I have a clear-cut reason as to why I joined this organization. It’s not about me, although it’s been therapeutic to share my past, it's about the next generation. Going viral, likes, follows, clicks, and views mean absolutely nothing to me, except that it could help save one more child. That one child would mean that my life, what I've been through, and this fight have all been worth something.
Starting out, I might've not known why I joined GAG but chose to follow the path I knew I had to follow. In turn, I have gained a family of LGB&T people I thought were extinct. I've formed friendships with loving parents, teachers, and supporters that I would've never met. More importantly, I’ve gained a purpose in my life that I never thought I'd find.
If you want to volunteer for our organization, you can go to gaysagainstgroomers.com/join and apply for a position available.